**OH GREAT, ANOTHER WALKING GRAVEYARD GETS A TREND. AITA for thinking we should just let boomer nostalgia die already?**
**TL;DR:** Melissa Gilbert (you know, that girl who played "Half Pint" on *Little House on the Prairie*), basically told the internet that "screens are rotting our brains" and we should all go touch grass like it’s 1882. She’s selling "analog lifestyle kits" for $150 a pop, which is just a burlap sack full of chalk and a jar of Vaseline.
**My (obviously correct) take:** Sure, let’s all ditch our iPhones and go back to a time when you died of a papercut and your kid’s name was “Almanzo.” Meanwhile, Melissa is definitely typing this from a solar-powered MacBook in her "rustic" $3 million Malibu cabin. The irony is so thick you could spread it on the sourdough starter she’s trying to sell you. 🚩
**Bottom line:** She’s not wrong about the dopamine collapse, but she’s also not the wise yoda we deserve. She’s just a rich lady from a 1970s sitcom who’s salty that Netflix cancelled her reboot. Go touch grass? No thanks, I’ll just block her on Twitter. 💅