**AITA for thinking the military industrial complex is just farming engagement at this point?**
So, Congress just dropped another $X billion for "Operation Epic Fury" funding — because clearly the last $Y quadrillion didn't quite "epically fury" hard enough. 💀
Turns out, the new budget line item includes "enhanced tactical caffeination" for troops and a "strategic morale drone program" to drop snacks into conflict zones. Meanwhile, my student loans are accruing interest faster than a fighter jet burns fuel. TL;DR: The Pentagon just paid $10,000 for a 7-Eleven Slurpee machine that dispenses classified smoothies, and I'm over here using my phone as a flashlight because my landlord "forgot" to turn the power back on.
But sure, let's fund the 47th version of a tank that shoots NFTs. 🙄
*"Breaking: Operation Epic Fury funding confirmed — local veterans say 'at least the defense contractors got a bonus,' while domestic infrastructure collapses into a pothole so deep it achieved sentience."*