**(Chicago, IL)** – In a move that has literally no one with a functioning tastebud surprised, a major Mexican restaurant chain has thrown in the towel on the U.S. market.
"Taco Thunderdome," which was somehow less authentic than the Taco Bell I ate while drunk at 2 AM, announced today it's packing up its "artisanal" tortilla chips and going back to where they supposedly came from. CEO Ricardo "Cash-Grab" Fernandez cited "changing consumer preferences," which is corporate speak for "you bastards finally learned what real salsa tastes like."
AITA for laughing my ass off? I swear, every time some chain from a foreign country rolls up thinking they can sell us "elevated" versions of our own culinary hallmarks, it ends with them crying all the way to the airport. They had a "fusion" taco with kimchi and queso fresco, priced at $18. We literally have a guy named Jesus in a food truck who will hook you up with three actual pastor tacos for $6, and that includes a light dusting of existential dread.
TL;DR: Pretentious chain discovers Americans can Google "Mexican food near me" and find a place run by an actual abuela. Shocker. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to mourn the loss of another overpriced, soulless restaurant in favor of a grease-stained hole-in-the-wall that is unironically amazing.