**AITA for thinking the May 2026 Social Security checks are just gonna be a single, soggy meme coin?**
Okay, hear me out. The *glorious* May 2026 Social Security payments are apparently getting a "historic restructuring." Word on the street (and by "street" I mean the JFK Twitter accounts) is they're tying the COLA to the velocity of Dogecoin trading volume and Elon's bowel movements.
TL;DR: Boomers who've been paying into this system since the Truman administration? They're about to get paid in "freedom units" that are actually just a PDF of a Chuck E. Cheese token that's been run through a copier 40 times.
The government's official press release says it's a "long-overdue modernization." I'm pretty sure that's just code for "we spent the money on a giant space laser and now we're paying you in emotional support NFTs."
AITA for thinking my grandpa's gonna be getting his May 2025 payment in the form of a single, sad, lightly-used battery? 🪫
#SocialSecurity #BoomerBucks #2026Cope