**Man Literally Cannibalizes Wife Over Wi-Fi Password Beef - AITA for Chewing the Cables?**
*MADRID — In a plot twist that makes Squid Game look like a game of Candy Land, Spanish TV legend Jorge Ortiz de Pinedo has been arrested for allegedly **eating his wife alive** during a fight about buffering speeds.*
According to leaked police reports, the 74-year-old comedian snapped when his wife, Paloma, refused to share the admin password to their new fiber optic router. Sources say Jorge went full *"Survivor: Madrid Edition,"* first gnawing on the Ethernet cables before moving on to… well, his partner.
AITA for saying this? TL;DR: He claimed in his defense that "the connection was lagging" and that his wife "kept streaming *The Last of Us* without him."
**Reddit Reacts:**
* **u/SoyBoy420:** "NTA, she clearly didn't understand the struggle of a 5-bar connection. But seriously, this is why you don't marry someone who uses 2.4GHz."
* **u/MarianaTrenchDigger:** "INFO: Were the cables orange or gray? Because orange is for monsters. Gray is acceptable rage."
* **u/PatatasBravas_4_Life:** "YTA. You could have just factory reset the router. Now the whole neighborhood has to hear about how you 'ate your feelings.' More like ate your wife. Get a VPN, bro."
Local authorities are reportedly struggling to find "a digital footprint" but a surprisingly well-preserved lasagna recipe. *Unhinged?* Maybe. *Viral?* Definitely.