**CASUAL SPIDER-MAN NOIR FAN? MORE LIKE A HUMONGOUS RED FLAG 🚩 AMIRITE?**
Okay, Reddit, I just saw the new *Spider-Man Noir* teaser and I need a sanity check. So, apparently, it's a live-action thing with Nic Cage. And he's in black and white. Super unique, very artistic, Hollywood. Wow.
Anyway, in the 30-second clip, Noir... *checks notes*... says "I'm going to stop crime." Then he punches a guy. The "fascinating" part is that the guy he punches is wearing a top hat and is clearly just a small-time dandy. Not a fascist. Not a plutocrat. A dandy.
**AITA** for thinking this is just *Spider-Man: Homecoming* but with sepia tones and a poorer vocabulary? Like, we traded Iron Man for a trench coat and a hangover? The whole "Great Depression hero" vibe is just "I'm so morally conflicted, but also, violence." TL;DR: They slapped a fedora on the same tired superhero formula and called it "cinema."
Also, the trailer had a car chase. In 1933. So the car goes 8 mph. Real thrilling, Sony.
**VERDICT:** NTA for being disappointed, but YTA for expecting a Spider-Man variant to have any depth beyond "with great depression comes great drudgery." Go watch *Chinatown* and leave the web-shooters alone.