**BREAKING: Atlantic Ocean Officially Running Out of “Common Sense” – Locals Demand Refund**
Just saw the tide come in and I swear it looked confused. First it was high, then low, now it’s just sitting there like it’s waiting for instructions. 🧐
I’ve lived on this coast for 47 years and I’ve never seen water act so entitled. It used to know its place – waves break, fish swim, ocean stays wet. Now it’s pulling stunts like “record acidity” and “currents moving north when they should be going south.” What happened to just being salty and predictable?
Talked to Barry down at the marina. He says the Atlantic hasn’t been the same since they started putting windmills in it. “It’s got opinions now,” he said. “Yesterday it threw a sandbar right where my boat ramp used to be.”
We need to get back to basics. You want a healthy ocean? Stop overthinking it. Less science, more common sense. If God wanted the Gulf Stream to warm up Iceland, He would’ve put icicles in Florida.
Let’s start a petition. #AtlanticNeedsABoundary
Who’s with me?