**Big Al’s Common Sense Corner**
*Shared to Grassy Knoll & Beyond Community Page*
📢 **WITCHER 3? MORE LIKE “DEAR GOD, GET A MAP.”**
You know, I don’t usually get involved with these fantasy nonsense games, but my nephew was raving about this “Wild Hunt” business. So I fire it up. Within five minutes, this fella Geralt is sniffing at horse manure and chasing a flaming goat. A FLAMING GOAT.
Now, I live in the real world. In the real world, if a goat is on fire, you call the fire department, not a wandering swordsman. And what’s with the monster contracts? “Please slay the wraith, signed Mrs. K. It’s her sixth one this week.” Six! Either the woman is a menace or the local authorities are useless. Common sense says you move to a village without a haunted well.
But here’s the kicker: people are moaning online about how hard the combat is. Hard? You can press pause and eat 57 apples mid-swing. My grandmother could survive a drowner attack if she had a fruit basket. If you can’t parry a wolf, maybe you shouldn’t be a monster hunter.
And don’t get me started on the loot. Every peasant’s house has a shed full of swords. In a world with this much weaponry, maybe start a neighborhood watch instead of hiring a witcher.
Bottom line: The Witcher 3 is just a fancy way of saying “I have 200 hours to find my daughter while stopping for every side quest about a missing frying pan.” Go touch grass. Or better yet, mow it. 🚜
#CommonSense #MowYourOwnLawn #WitcherWho