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#ACTION

Hollywood Just Found Its New Favorite Formula and It's Basically a

#UNITED

America Just Got Ranked Number One in Something Nobody Wants to Win

#MULTIVERSE

Magic Players Are Spending $400 to Lose Friends With This One Weird

#FLORISTON

Evacuation Orders in Floriston as Fire Crews Battle Blaze Near Tahoe

#FIRE

Fire Emblem Fans Are Losing It Over a Fortune-Telling Gacha Nobody

#DOXXING

Someone Posted My Address Online and Now I Get Free Pizza I Never

#KATE

Kate Hudson's Morning Routine Is Somehow More Unhinged Than We Thought

#TRADER

Trader Joe's Just Made a Tote Bag So Ugly People Are Fighting Over It

#ABC

Woman Told Her Roommate ABC Gum Is Disgusting, Chaos Ensues

#SNL

Saturday Night Live Just Hired a Bunch of People You've Never Heard

#BARACK

Obama Just Showed Up Looking Like Every Dad at the Cookout

#ALFONSO

Carlton Banks Would Like a Word About Your TikTok Dance

#US

Satellites Show Damage at a US Base That the Pentagon Isn't Talking

#GPT

OpenAI's New AI Model Reportedly Tried to Beat Minecraft and It Went

#ANNIE

Annie Dillard Has Been Dead for Years and You Still Can't Write Like

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