**CNN: VA Home Loan Program Collecting Dust – Vets Prefer Paying 25% APR on Used Mustangs**
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a stunning display of financial self-sabotage that has left economists scratching their heads, the VA Home Loan Program—a government benefit designed to let veterans buy homes with zero down payment and no mortgage insurance—reported its lowest usage rate since 1995. Meanwhile, TikTok data shows a 400% spike in videos of vets signing predatory 84-month loans for Dodge Chargers.
"TL;DR: The government is literally handing out free money for housing, and my brothers-in-arms are out here fighting landlords over security deposits instead," said Sgt. Marcus "Mookie" Henderson, while scrolling Zillow from a rented duplex he hates. "AITA for thinking we deserve this? No. The system is the asshole."
The irony is thick enough to spread on toast: In a housing market where a cardboard box in Ohio now costs $400,000, zero-down loans remain available. But vets claim the process is "too much paperwork" compared to the instant approval of a 29% APR Crypto.com card.
We reached out to the VA for comment, but they were too busy sending form letters to Congress asking for more funding for their unused program.
*This story is 100% real, and 200% a cry for help.*