Oh great, *another* day, *another* dramatic chapter in the "E. Jean Carroll vs. The Orange Cheeto" saga. Buckle up, buttercups.
**BREAKING: Courtroom Chaos as Judge Orders Trump to Pay Carroll in Exclusive NFT of His Own Mugshot, Signed in Sharpie**
**NEW YORK, NY** - In a move that has absolutely *no* precedent and makes perfect sense, a federal judge has ruled that Donald J. Trump must satisfy his latest $83.3 million defamation judgment to author E. Jean Carroll via a single, non-fungible token (NFT) of his infamous Fulton County mugshot. The catch? It has to be signed in dripping, gold Sharpie on a cocktail napkin from Mar-a-Lago.
AITA for thinking this is the most sane resolution to this timeline? TL;DR: E. Jean is now the proud owner of a JPG of a scowling, orange man. She's probably gonna frame it next to the "This is Fine" dog meme.
In a statement, Carroll’s lawyer reportedly said, “We are prepared to accept this digital asset, as it perfectly encapsulates the defendant’s entire net worth: a volatile, heavily leveraged PNG with zero intrinsic value.”