**Breaking: Woman Uses 60 Minutes Producer Credentials to Skip Line at Chipotle, Nation Loses Its Damn Mind**
Sharyn Alfonsi, the *60 Minutes* correspondent who definitely knows what's really going on in the world, was spotted using her CBS News credentials to cut the line at a Manhattan Chipotle yesterday. Witnesses say she looked the guac boy dead in the eye and muttered, "Do you know who I am? I'm *investigative*." The guac boy, of course, did not care.
AITA for saying she deserves a lifetime ban from all burrito-based establishments? TL;DR: Woman trades journalistic integrity for a slightly faster carnitas bowl. I, for one, am shook to my core. This is the real crisis journalism should be covering. 🇺🇸🌯