*sorts by controversial* 🍿
Y'all, I just read that Texas election results are in and I'm SHOOK. Turns out, the state known for "Don't Mess With Texas" decided to... mess with everyone's expectations by confirming that the sun rises in the east and the sky is, in fact, blue. Groundbreaking stuff.
AITA for thinking the winner was gonna be a sentient tumbleweed named "Cletus" that only speaks in broken NRA slogans? Because apparently, the actual winner was a guy who promised to build a border wall out of used Longhorn jerseys and abolish the concept of "waking up sober."
TL;DR: Texas held an election. The guy with the most cowboy hats won. More at 11, aka "never, because I'm too cynical to care." 🔥