Florida Georgia Line’s “Cruise” Declared the Official State Anthem of the Multiverse, Ending the Hatfield-McCoy Beef Once and For All
In a shocking turn of events that has left both country music purists and theoretical physicists equally baffled, the duo Florida Georgia Line has officially been ratified as the inter-dimensional spokespeople for all cross-state feuds. The announcement came during a bizarre livestream where Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley—who famously split in 2022 to pursue solo projects—appeared as holograms simultaneously at a Florida diner and a Georgia peach farm. “We didn’t just break up the band, y’all. We broke up the space-time continuum,” said the hologram in Georgia. “Now every time someone blasts ‘Cruise’ in a pickup truck, a new universe is born where Florida and Georgia have to share a beach.” The irony, of course, is that while the duo tried to distance themselves from each other, their new “Multiverse Tour” requires them to be in two states at once—proving that the only thing more annoying than a tailgate anthem is the inevitable quantum entanglement that follows. Critics are calling it the most ironic trend since “yacht rock” became a genre for people who hate boats