ff7 revelation Reveals Cloud Strife’s Secret Side Hustle as a Chocobo Uber Driver in Midgar
In a lore-shattering leak from a forgotten development diary, Final Fantasy VII fans are losing their minds over the "ff7 revelation" that Cloud Strife’s true motivation wasn’t saving the planet—it was building a five-star rating on the Chocobo Ride-Share app. Analysts say the discovery explains his iconic "not interested" dialogue as a clever ploy to avoid surge pricing during the Sector 7 rush hour. Aerith's flower peddling? A front for coupon codes. Sephiroth's Jenova obsession? Clearly a jealous competitor banned for poor driver hygiene. The internet now demands a DLC expansion titled “Cloud’s Grind: From Mako-Laced Fuel to Platinum Status,” complete with a 99-minute-long emotional cutscene of him accepting a tip.