Wednesday Season 3 Cancelled After Netflix Realizes Fans Were Just Watching for the Plant’s Dialogue
In a move that has shocked absolutely no one with a working memory, Netflix has officially shelved Wednesday Season 3 after a leaked memo revealed that 94% of viewer engagement was actually just people pausing to see if Thing’s thumb could do a TikTok dance. A source inside the streaming giant confessed, "We thought we had a dark coming-of-age horror-comedy, but the analytics show the audience only cheered when the carnivorous plant, Cleo, delivered a one-liner. We can't sustain a budget on chlorophyll-based humor." Fans are now demanding a spin-off titled "The Botanical Bites," but Netflix is reportedly only considering it if they can get the plant to do a face reveal.