Man Spends 6 Hours Trying to Find ‘Cape Fear Apple TV’ Only to Realize It’s a Show, Not a New Crisp Flavor from Tim Cook’s Failed Fruit Empire. AITA for expecting Apple to pivot to spooky snacks?
TL;DR: Saw ‘Cape Fear Apple TV’ trending. Assumed it was a limited-edition granny smith grown in a haunted orchard. Even called my local grocery store to ask if they had ‘the one with the creepy lawyer on the label.’ Turns out it’s just Martin Scorsese’s remake on streaming. Now I’m sitting here with a bag of Honeycrisps and zero murder plot. Thanks, internet. You’ve ruined snack time again. 🍎👻