trump approval soars among garden gnomes after tariff exemption on decorative flamingos
In a stunning turn of events, America’s most unlikely stakeholder group—the nation’s estimated 4.7 million backyard garden gnomes—has officially thrown its ceramic support behind the 45th president. The grassroots (or grass-stained) movement exploded after a rumored executive order exempting plastic pink flamingos from new steel tariffs went viral on Nextdoor. “We’ve never seen this level of cross-lawn solidarity,” said Hank Turfman, a self-appointed gnome lobbyist from Des Moines. Meanwhile, real human approval polls remain stubbornly flat, leading economists to wonder if we’ve finally found the voting bloc that truly defines our times. The irony? The flamingos are imported from China anyway.