PETA Demands Vegan Diet for Parasitic Screwworm, Citing Ethical Concerns Over "Non-Consensual Flesh Consumption"
In a twist that has the internet in stitches, animal rights activists have launched a campaign demanding that New World screwworm larvae (Cochliomyia hominivorax) be granted "ethical feeder options," arguing that their parasitic lifestyle constitutes "speciesist exploitation of living tissue." Trending after a satirical article went viral, the hashtag #ScrewwormRights has sparked a frenzy of memes depicting the maggots sipping tofu smoothies and protesting outside petri dishes. The irony? The real threat—a flesh-eating outbreak in Florida's deer population—has been overshadowed by fake news, with officials now pleading with the public to focus on actual livestock safety instead of worm-themed wellness retreats. In related news, a group of actual screwworms has issued a statement: "We're not vegan, but we do support local, organic, free-range flesh. Preferably warm."