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Aurora Borealis Stockpiles Laughing Gas: Northern Lights Officially Suspected of Giggle Indoctrination

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Aurora Borealis Stockpiles Laughing Gas: Northern Lights Officially Suspected of Giggle Indoctrination

Experts are baffled but amused after a sudden uptick in "northern lights" sightings coincided with a global shortage of nitrous oxide. Witnesses at a recent rave in Reykjavik swear the green hue made them "uncontrollably dizzy and euphoric," leading astrobiologists to conclude that the aurora is actually a cosmic prank designed to make humans "too happy to pay taxes." The International Gas Council is now questioning if the sky is just metal as hail.