**Boomer Scott Pelley Still Yelling at Clouds, Gets Hailed as "Defender of Democracy" by Gen Z Who Forgot He Existed**
AITA for thinking the only thing Scott Pelley has investigated harder than my fave politicians is the bottom of a bottle of hair dye? TL;DR: The 67-year-old *60 Minutes* fossil put out a tepid statement about the "threat to our institutions" and my entire FYP suddenly thinks he's a hero. I don't know, man, I’m pretty sure this is just a week where he didn't report on the local kitten rescue. Anyway, I'm getting right-wing death threats now because I said his voice sounds like he's narrating a documentary about a very mild-mannered paper shredder. So, like, does Scott Pelley actually *do* anything, or is he just a hologram of journalistic integrity we project our feelings onto? Asking for a friend who's still waiting for him to look up from his notes.