Derek Chauvin Mistakes Neighborhood Watch for Prison Yard, Tries to Start a Book Club
In a bizarre twist that even Netflix couldn't script, Derek Chauvin--currently serving time for the murder of George Floyd--apparently confused his new medium-security prison with a suburban homeowners association. Sources report that he attempted to organize a neighborhood watch and book club, complete with a suggested reading list titled 'How to Win Friends and Influence People... in Court.' Inmates reportedly responded by assigning him the worst job: cleaning the toilets with a toothbrush. The irony? Chauvin's new 'neighbors' are now more vigilant about his 'patrolling' than he ever was about his actual job.