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La Mayor Race Polls Finally Explain Why All Candidates Are Photographed Holding a Giant Burrito

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La Mayor Race Polls Finally Explain Why All Candidates Are Photographed Holding a Giant Burrito

In a stunning turn of events, the latest "la mayor race polls" have revealed a shocking electoral trend: candidates are no longer judged on policy or experience, but on their ability to consume a foot-long carne asada burrito in under 90 seconds, without eye contact or visible regret. Political analysts are stumped, but internet historians are having a field day, pointing out that this is the first time in history voter turnout has directly correlated with the heat index of a salsa verde.