"Local Man Discovers His $5,000 Carnival Corporation Cruise Booking Was Actually Just a Down Payment for a Data Breach Nightmare"
AITA for thinking that Carnival Corporation's latest data breach—where hackers allegedly made off with passenger names, passport numbers, and credit card info like they were collecting seashells—is just the universe's way of telling me to cancel my 2025 Bahamas trip and start a new life as a goat farmer? TL;DR: Carnival's cybersecurity is leakier than their inflatable slides, and I'm now 83% sure my identity is being auctioned off on the Dark Web to fund someone's cryptocurrency lambo. But hey, at least my vacation dreams get a free upgrade to "identity theft survivor." 🙃