PHOENIX MUM SAVES $6 BY BAKING HER OWN BURNT TOAST, DECLARES VICTORY OVER INFLATION
A suburban phoenix has gone viral after posting a detailed 12-step TikTok tutorial on how to reclaim your sovereignty from Big Toast by baking your own bread until it's a perfect 50% carbon, citing the metabolic benefits of "crunchy liberation." The internet is now torn between ironic applause for her commitment to DIY extremism and the realization that the store-bought loaf she burned was actually cheaper per calorie than the propane it took to achieve that signature incandescent glow.