🚨 **LOCAL MAN WATCHES ‘FACE/OFF’ ONE TIME, NOW HE’S SUING THE CITY OVER PARKING METERS** 🚨
**Myrtle Beach, SC** – I don’t know what’s in the water down here, but the common sense is long gone. My neighbor, Dave (62), retired electrician, just slapped a lawsuit against the city because—get this—*the parking meters don’t have a “Cage Mode” setting.*
According to Dave, after watching *Face/OFF* for the “57th time” last weekend, he became convinced that “all public infrastructure should be prepared for a sudden face swap with a terrorist.” He reportedly tried to scan his face into a meter to get free parking, then demanded a “vengeance token” when it didn’t work.
Now the city council is holding an emergency meeting to discuss “supernatural parking ordinance loopholes.” Meanwhile, Dave’s HOA is threatening to fine him for keeping a live bee bomb in his garage.
**This is why we can’t have nice things, people.** #CommonSense #NotTheBees #MyrtleBeachMayhem