BREAKING: LOCAL MAN BLAMES HARAMBE FOR ROAD POTHOLES
“Just saw a city crew fill a pothole on Elm Street and I gotta say—this is exactly the kind of nonsense that started when they shot that gorilla. You think it’s a coincidence our roads went to hell right after 2016? Use your *common sense*.
They took away a strong, alpha protector who kept the zoo in line, and now we’ve got no order anywhere. Potholes, inflation, kids vaping in the park—Harambe was holding it all together. RIP to a real one. #JusticeForHarambe #CommonSense”