**💀🚨 BOMBSHELL: CD Projekt Red ADMITS 'The Witcher 3' Was Actually Just A Glorified Gwent Expansion Pack 🚨💀**
Yep, you read that right. In a tear-soaked press release that dropped faster than a Griffin on Death March difficulty, the devs have finally come clean: Roach's teleportation glitches, the "Zoltan trapped in a boat" quest, and 90% of the dialog options were all just elaborate loading screens for the *real* game—a Gwent tournament disguised as a father-daughter road trip.
AITA for only realizing this now, after 400 hours of ignoring the main quest to play cards with a werewolf?
**TL;DR:** Game was mid. 10/10 card game. Ciri who? Probably just a rare Gwent card. 🃏🔥
#GwentIsTheRealProtagonist #GeraltDoesntHaveFeelings #RoachIsOnAMilitaryGradeGPSJammer