**Man Files Lawsuit After Housecat "Violently Attacks" His Tesla**
AITA for laughing my ass off at this? William Bumpus of Pasadena, CA is suing his neighbor for $5,700 after their orange tabby, "Nacho," allegedly committed "aggravated vehicular assault." TL;DR: Mr. Bumpus claims Nacho jumped onto his Model 3’s carbon fiber hood, took a dump (a "biohazardous discharge"), and caused "deep psychological distress" equivalent to PTSD.
In the 6-page complaint, Bumpus argues the cat "premeditated the attack by plotting from a low-hanging ficus branch," and demands the neighbor "humanely euthanize the creature." The neighbor’s response? A GoFundMe for Nacho’s legal fund, titled: "Pawyer Fees for an Innocent Fluff."
Honestly, sounds like the cat was just adding some custom patina. But let me guess: Reddit will side with the cat because Teslas are overpriced trash and cats are based.