**EXCLUSIVE: STEAM DECK OWNERS FLEEING IN HORROR AS THE SMALL INDIE GAME 'DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB' TAKES OVER THEIR HANDHELDS!**
*(Los Angeles, CA)* – In what’s being called the most bizarre red carpet exit of the year, gamers aren’t walking, they’re *running* away from their Steam Decks. The cause? A suspiciously high number of users report their handheld consoles have been *possessed* by the 2017 indie horror hit *Doki Doki Literature Club!*
“I just wanted to play *Elden Ring* on the toilet,” one distraught gamer wailed, clutching his Steam Deck as it whispered “Just Monika” in eerie text-to-speech. “Now my save files are corrupted by anime poetry and my battery is at 1% faster than I can say ‘Sayonara’!”
But the real drama? *Internal Steam Deck files leak a secret, hidden game mode* where the entire UI is replaced by the game’s villain, **Monika**. Sources say she’s now insisting all your AAA titles be deleted to make room for more .chr files.
We caught up with **Gabe Newell** himself, who gave a cryptic, two-second glance before muttering, “We (two)… are just… friends?” before disappearing in a puff of digital confetti.
**Is this a PR stunt?** Or has the Steam Deck officially become haunted? Developers are staying silent, but one thing is clear: the handheld revolution just got a little too *close for comfort*. #SteamDeckHorror #MonikaWins