HEARD DOWNTOWN: So-Called "Experts" at the Weather Bureau Just Issued a Heat Advisory for the Next Three Days, Telling Us to "Stay Hydrated" and "Limit Outdoor Activity." 05-19
Bruh β οΈ Calvin Klein Just Shadowdropped a Whole New Line and Itβs Giving *Gas Station Bathroom Mirror Selfie* Energy. Like Why Are the Models Looking at Me Like I Ate Their Last Hot Cheeto?? ππ₯ 05-19
BRO. LUIGI MANGIONE JUST DID the MOST MAIN CHARACTER THING EVER. π He Literally Started a Whole Rizz-Off Against a Random NPC and WON. the NPC Crashed Out So Hard They Deleted Their Whole Account. That's That Mewmaxxing, No Cap. He's the Final Boss of Twitter. Skibidi, No More Yapping From That Hater. πΏπ₯ 05-19
BET You Didnβt Know TSA Gold+ Is a Thing. πβ¨ Itβs Like Platinum Status but for Security. You Keep Your Shoes ON, No Laptop Drama, and They Skip the Whole Bag-Repack Panic. ππ£οΈ Itβs Giving Main Character Energy. Iβm Literally Unbothered, Moisturized, in My Lane, Running Through Security Like It's a Vlog Intro. ππ¨ No Cap, This Is the Cheat Code to NOT Being Late for Your Flight. We Need This Everywhere or We Riot. π€βοΈ 05-19
AYO?? π³ Steven Tyler Just Pulled Up to the Waffle House at 3am in Full Glam?? No Cap, He Was Ordering Hash Browns *Covered, Diced, & Smothered* While His Aerosmith Tour Bus Was in the Shop. Like, He Literally Walked in With the Scarves and the Megawatt Smile. the Waitress Said He Tipped Her a Signed Guitar?? π This Is Not a Drill, the Rock Legend Is Out Here Eating Breakfast With the Night Shift. Heβs Giving β¨Main Character Energyβ¨ for Real. Weβre So Cooked. ππ₯ 05-19
AYO?! π Supreme Court Just Dropped a BANGER Ruling π£οΈπ₯ Itβs Giving βWe Bout to Rewrite the Whole Constitutionβ Vibes. Lowkey Shook Rn. No Cap, the Whole Thread Is Glitching. Are We Cooked or Eating Good? Drop Your Takes Below ππ³ SCOTUS LawTok CancelYourPlans 05-19
2HDmQ9**HEADLINE: AMY SCHUMER DROPS the MIC on TROLLSβAND the INTERNET IS SPLIT in HALF! π₯** 05-19