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#NIKITA

NIKITA HAND FINALLY SPEAKS: Says She’s “Just a Girl” After Getting Roasted Into Oblivion For That Cringey “Pick Me” Video

#XBOX

# Microsoft Exec Accidentally Reveals Xbox’s Next Console Will Just Be A Toaster That Plays Minecraft

#BEST

# HBO Max’s 'Best Shows' List Is Just a Weird Flex From People Who Haven’t Left Their Couches Since 2020

#FLIGHTS

First Class Passenger Caught Trying To ‘Skip The Line’ By Climbing Through Overhead Bin, Baffled That Airline Won’t Let Him Gate-Check His Entire Personality

#LOTTERY

Winning Numbers Announced, Internet Immediately Declares Man An Idiot For Not Picking Them

#FORTNITE

Fortnite Servers Crash Again, Gamers’ Blood Pressure Reaches New Record High

#WHAT

# America Is Getting Roasted By A 'Heat Dome' And Nobody Knows WTF That Means

#HOTELS

Hotels Are Now Charging $25 'Wellness Fees' For The Privilege Of Not Sleeping In A Ditch

#TIME

Man Who "Never Has Time" Somehow Finds 37 Hours Per Week to Complain About Not Having Time

#FORTNITE

Fortnite Tracker Stans in Shambles After Epic Finally Admits They’ve Been Using “Secret” SBMM Algorithm That Makes You Suck

#USPS

USPS Says ‘We’re Not Your Delivery Btch Anymore’ With New Ballot Rule That’s Definitely Not About Voter Suppression, You Guys

#NEW

New York Times Finally Admits They’ve Been Running the Same Article Since 1851, Just Changing the Names

#LATEST

iPhone 17 Leaks Reveal Apple Has Finally Run Out of Ideas, Charges $1,500 for a Slightly Different Camera Bump

#COSTCO

Costco Is Plotting World Domination, One 5-Gallon Tub Of Mayo At A Time

#WHEN

Amazon Prime Day Is Finally Over, You Can Now Stop Panic-Buying Things You Don't Need

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