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#JASON

Jason Momoa Finally Realizes He Can Just Shave His Head and Move On With His Life

#GREAT

# Local Man Achieves Perfect State Fair Score, Promptly Dies of Diabetes and Regret

#NATALIE

Natalie Harp’s ‘Loyalty’ is Just a Fancy Word for ‘Sucking Up to the Guy With the Nuclear Codes’

#BEST

HBO Max’s 2024 Lineup Is So Good It’s Making Me Question Why I Ever Left the House

#BUC

Buc-ee’s Plans to Invade More of America, Which Is Great If You Enjoy Public Urination and Beaver Nuggets

#LOTTERY

Woman Wins $340 Million Lottery, Immediately Buys A ‘Lifetime Supply’ Of The One Thing Keeping Her ‘Sane’

#FLIGHTS

Flights Are Officially Hell Now—And No, It’s Not Just the TSA

#HOUSING

Housing Bill Declares All Americans Legally Entitled to a Cardboard Box Under an Interstate

#FORTNITE

Fortnite Servers Crash Again, Millions of Gamers Forced to Touch Grass

#TIME

The Man Who ‘Saved’ An Hour By Time Traveling Is Absolutely Furious He Has To Live That Hour Anyway

#LATEST

iPhone 16 Leaks Reveal Apple Finally Invented Something That Already Existed

#HOTELS

Hotel Chain Installs ‘Anti-Hoarding’ Mini Fridges So You Can Only Store One Single Gatorade at a Time

#USPS

USPS Proposes Making It Even Harder to Vote, Because Democracy Was Working Too Well

#XBOX

Xbox Fanboy Literally Melts After Learning Game He’s Been Playing For 5 Years Is Actually Free On PC

#FORTNITE

Fortnite Tracker User Discovers They’ve Been ‘Assigned Bot’ At Birth, Community In Shambles

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