Pedro Martinez woke up this morning, checked his phone, and discovered that the internet had once again decided he is the main character of baseball.
This happens roughly every time a modern pitcher gives up three earned runs, because somewhere a 47-year-old man in a Derek Jeter jersey needs to remind everyone that the Red Sox ace once struck out five of the first six batters in an All-Star Game while looking like he was throwing darts at a balloon.
For the uninitiated, Martinez is the guy who posted a 1.74 ERA in 2000, a season so absurd that scientists still use it to calibrate their equipment.
He won three Cy Young Awards, threw a perfect game in 1999 that somehow got overshadowed by his own postseason heroics, and once told reporters the Yankees were his daddy.
That last part aged like milk in a hot car, but at least he owned it.
The current discourse started when some teenager on X posted a clip of Martinez striking out eight straight Indians in the 1999 playoffs and captioned it “this guy would get rocked in today’s game.” Within hours, baseball Twitter split into two camps: people who actually watched Pedro pitch, and people who think a 98 mph fastball with pinpoint command is the same as a guy throwing 101 with no idea where it’s going.
The latter group is currently losing the argument by a margin roughly equivalent to the 2004 ALCS.
What makes this whole thing funny is that Martinez himself has not said a word.
He’s probably at home in the Dominican Republic, sipping coffee, watching his Hall of Fame plaque collect dust, and wondering why anyone bothers comparing eras when the answer is always “Pedro was better than your favorite pitcher’s favorite pitcher.” The man once pitched a complete game shutout with a torn rotator cuff.
Your fantasy league ace has a blister and goes on the 15-day IL.
Meanwhile, the Boston sports radio callers are in full meltdown mode, which is their natural state.
One guy called in to say Pedro would win 25 games in today’s game, which is technically impossible because managers now pull starters after 85 pitches, but nobody tells a Boston fan what’s impossible.
Another caller blamed the Yankees for ruining baseball, which is also technically true but has nothing to do with Pedro Martinez.
The real winner here is ESPN, which gets to run a 30-for-30 style graphic package about a guy who last pitched in 2009.
They’ll show the 17-strikeout game against the Yankees, the bloody sock-adjacent playoff run, and that one time he threw Don Zimmer to the ground like a sack of potatoes during a bench-clearing brawl.
It was not his finest moment, but it was definitely his most meme-able.
So here we are, arguing about a pitcher who retired before half of Twitter was born, using stats that modern analysts would say are unsustainable, and pretending we have anything new to add.
Pedro would absolutely still be Pedro in any era, because command and a changeup that falls off the table don’t go out of style. **Opinion:** The only thing more exhausting than the “today’s players are better” debate is pretending Pedro Martinez needs defending.
Final Thoughts
Turn on a highlight reel, watch two innings, and go outside.