There are two kinds of people in this world: those who own a plunger, and those who own a lawyer.
A guy named Michael Fishman apparently woke up one morning and chose both, deciding that the porcelain throne in his own home was somehow the villain of his personal movie.
The story, as it dribbled out online, involves a homeowner who claims his plumbing has been an ongoing nightmare—leaks, clogs, questionable gurgling noises at 3 a.m. that sound like a haunted house audition.
Rather than calling a plumber like a normal, functioning adult, he reportedly decided this was a legal matter worthy of a courtroom.
Because nothing says "I've got my life together" quite like suing a toilet.
Now, before you sharpen your pitchforks, let's be fair.
Homeownership is basically a subscription service for unexpected misery.
Your water heater dies, your roof gets opinions, and your toilet occasionally decides to become a geyser.
We pay a mortgage so we can personally fund the slow decay of a structure we don't even own outright.
But here's where the comment section went full Reddit tribunal.
Skeptics pointed out that toilets don't typically have a personal vendetta against you—unless you've been flushing things you absolutely should not be flushing.
He thinks the toilet is a magical portal that accepts wipes, paper towels, and possibly a small regret or two.
The internet's verdict came in fast and brutal: YTA, buddy.
The toilet is just a bowl doing its best.
You're the one who turned a $200 plumbing fix into a whole personality crisis.
Somewhere, a licensed plumber is watching this saga unfold and quietly raising his hourly rate out of pure spite.
Of course, there's a tiny chance the guy has a legit gripe—maybe a contractor botched an install, maybe the manufacturer sold him a lemon.
But the court of public opinion doesn't deal in nuance.
It deals in memes, and this man just handed the internet a golden toilet-shaped piñata.
The real lesson here isn't about plumbing at all.
It's about knowing when to fight and when to just call a professional and eat the bill.
Nobody wins a war against their own bathroom.
That goes down with it. **The Take:** Look, we've all had a household appliance that seemed personally out to get us.
Final Thoughts
But turning a clog into a crusade is peak "I have too much free time and not enough hobbies." Fix the toilet, move on, and maybe stop flushing your problems—literally.