Michigan Congresswoman Haley Stevens has floated a proposal to raise the retirement age, and the internet responded with the enthusiasm of a man being told his flight is delayed four hours.
The idea, reportedly aimed at shoring up Social Security's long-term solvency, would nudge the full retirement age upward for younger workers.
Because nothing says "the American Dream" quite like being told you get to keep living it until you're 70.
For the uninitiated, Social Security's trust fund has a projected shortfall in roughly a decade, and politicians have been circling the problem like vultures who can't agree on who brought the Tupperware.
Stevens' pitch is the classic Washington move: ask people who haven't been born yet to work longer so people who are currently alive don't have to pay more.
Truly the kind of bold, forward-thinking leadership that got us here.
Let's do the math that nobody in Congress wants to do out loud.
If you raise the retirement age to 70, you're essentially telling a 22-year-old today that their knees need to hold out for another half-century.
Meanwhile, the average American's 401(k) is looking less like a retirement plan and more like a rounding error with a logo.
So the grand bargain is: work longer, save more, and hope your body doesn't file for bankruptcy first.
The reaction on social media has been predictably spicy.
One viral post suggested that if we're raising the retirement age, we should also raise the age at which Congress can vote itself a pay bump.
Another pointed out that the folks making these decisions will be long retired on full pensions while the rest of us are fighting with a self-checkout machine at 71.
AITA for wanting to retire before my spine does?
What's wild is that this isn't even a new idea.
Every few years, someone in Washington rediscovers the "raise the retirement age" lever like it's a hidden cheat code, pulls it, and then acts shocked when voters treat it like a fart in an elevator.
The problem is that the solution always lands on the backs of people who can't afford lobbyists.
Stevens, for her part, has framed this as a conversation starter.
Which is political-speak for "I said a thing, please don't make it a whole thing." The thing is, when you're talking about whether millions of Americans get to stop working before their bodies give out, it's already a whole thing.
Pretending otherwise is how you end up with a system that pays out IOUs and a thank-you card.
But there's a difference between a serious policy debate and using the retirement age as a political football every time an election gets close.
And they're tired. **The Bottom Line** Raising the retirement age is the political equivalent of telling someone their pizza is delayed but also they have to pay extra for it.
It might be mathematically defensible, but it's emotionally a disaster.
Final Thoughts
If Congress wants to fix Social Security without getting run out of town, maybe start with the people who can actually afford a haircut on their pension.