After years of silence, trailer teases, and more leaks than a stadium bathroom, the company dropped the pre-order details for Grand Theft Auto 6.
And folks, the top-tier collector's edition is priced at a cool $349.99.
That's a mortgage payment in some states.
Or roughly forty-seven avocado toasts, for those of you still doing the millennial math.
Let's break down what you actually get for the price of a used Honda Civic.
There's a steelbook case, which is nice if you still own a Blu-ray player for some reason.
A "Vice City Replica License Plate" that will absolutely get you pulled over if you actually bolt it to your bumper.
A set of art cards, a map, and a digital download code.
Oh, and a physical statue of Lucia holding a baseball bat.
Rockstar knows exactly who's buying this thing.
Reddit, predictably, is having a meltdown.
One top comment in r/GTA6 reads, "I could buy a PS5 Pro, the game, and a used copy of San Andreas for the same price and still have enough left for a decent pizza." Another user pointed out that the statue looks like it was 3D-printed in someone's garage and painted with leftover Warhammer enamel.
The top reply? "Still better quality than the launch version of Cyberpunk 2077." Oof.
Here's the thing that's really grinding gears.
The collector's edition does not include the actual game disc in some regions.
So you're paying three hundred and fifty bucks for a box of tchotchkes and a digital promise.
Meanwhile, the base game is seventy dollars, the same as every other AAA title that will inevitably have microtransactions in the online mode.
GameStop employees are already bracing for the chaos.
One anonymous worker told a gaming blog, "We had people camping out for the PS5 launch.
At least with the PS5, you could play games on it.
This is a statue and a steelbook." He then reportedly stared into the middle distance, contemplating the inevitable Black Friday stampede.
The scalpers, of course, have already listed pre-orders on eBay for eight hundred dollars.
Because nothing says "I love gaming" like buying a plastic figurine and flipping it to a desperate fourteen-year-old whose mom said no.
Except instead of a lion cub, it's a receding hairline guy named Chad from Ohio with twelve confirmed pre-orders.
But at some point, we have to ask ourselves: are we paying for nostalgia, or are we just paying because the number has a dollar sign in front of it?
If you have the disposable income and you genuinely want a Lucia statue to judge you while you eat cereal, go for it.
But if you're putting this on a credit card and skipping meals, maybe wait for the inevitable "Definitive Edition" re-release in two years.
Final Thoughts
It'll come with the same statue, a patch for the bugs they didn't fix, and a discount.