By u/DefinitelyNotAPoliceState, Staff Shitposter The city of Evanston, Illinois—famous for being the liberal college town right next to Chicago where people pay $9 for oat milk lattes—just released a police report that has the internet doing the math.
And the math is not mathing in a way that's going to make anyone feel warm and fuzzy about local law enforcement.
According to the report, Evanston police apparently coordinated with federal immigration authorities on a detention matter last month.
The report surfaced after a resident filed a public records request, probably expecting to find nothing juicier than a stolen bike log.
Instead, they got a paper trail suggesting the local cops played nice with ICE—in a sanctuary city, no less.
Now, before the "well, actually" crowd fires up their keyboards: Evanston has officially declared itself a sanctuary city since 2017.
The whole point is to keep local police from doing the federal government's immigration dirty work.
But this report suggests someone either didn't get the memo or decided the memo was more of a suggestion.
The details are still fuzzy—because of course they are—but the gist is that Evanston PD communicated with ICE about a person in custody.
Whether they held them, handed them over, or just had a friendly little chit-chat remains unclear.
What is clear is that people are big mad, and rightfully so.
This is the local government equivalent of promising to be vegetarian and then getting caught at a steakhouse.
The city's official response has been the standard bureaucratic word salad: "We are reviewing the matter" and "We remain committed to our values." Translation: someone screwed up, and now the PR team is doing damage control while the legal team quietly updates their resumes.
It's the same story playing out in "progressive" towns across the country.
Local police say they don't enforce federal immigration law, then a report drops showing they kind of, sort of do.
It's the political equivalent of "I didn't inhale." Nobody believes you, and you look worse for lying about it.
If Evanston residents—especially undocumented ones—can't trust their local cops to stay out of federal immigration business, then every interaction with law enforcement becomes a gamble.
People don't call the cops when they're scared the cops will call ICE.
The city council is reportedly "looking into it," which in local government terms means they'll hold a meeting, express disappointment, and maybe form a task force that meets twice before quietly dissolving.
Meanwhile, the people affected are left wondering if their neighbors in blue are actually on their side. **Final take:** Evanston's sanctuary city status is looking less like a promise and more like a bumper sticker.
If the report is accurate, this isn't a misunderstanding—it's a betrayal of the people who trusted the system.
Final Thoughts
And no amount of oat milk lattes is going to wash that taste out.