Okay besties, grab your glitter and your group chat because the ballroom is BACK and nobody is emotionally prepared.
ABC just dropped the new cast for Season 34 and the timeline is absolutely cooked in the best way possible.
Mark your calendars for Tuesday, September 16 at 8/7c on ABC.
Episodes drop weekly, and yes, they stream next day on Hulu if you're a "watch it later with snacks" type of person.
No more Mondays, which honestly has the whole fandom in shambles.
The roster is giving pure whiplash in the best way — reality stars, an Olympic legend, a sitcom icon, and at least one person your mom will text you about at 11pm asking "wait is that the guy from that show?" Yes mom.
The TikTok detectives are already deep in the trenches analyzing rehearsal clips frame by frame.
Every leaked mirror-selfie is getting the full CSI treatment.
Somebody spotted a cast member limping in a paparazzi shot and the comment section turned into a full medical drama.
We're three weeks out and the parasocial investment is at an all-time high.
Because the show finally leaned into the chaos.
No more playing it safe with the casting.
They said "we're giving the people what they want" and the people want mess, drama, and at least one shocking elimination that makes everyone scream at their TV.
If you're new here: yes, the voting matters.
Yes, you can vote online during the live show.
Yes, your fave can absolutely get sent home because America decided to stan someone else mid-season.
Set your alarms, prep your snack board, and mute the group chat if you're watching on delay because spoilers move FAST.
Final Thoughts
Hot take: this cast is either gonna be the best season in years or an absolute trainwreck, and honestly both outcomes are a win for us.