A road crew in rural Missouri got the surprise of their lives this week when they realized the "distant thunder" they'd been ignoring for three days was actually live artillery fire landing uncomfortably close to their excavator.
According to local reports, the crew had been contracted to repave a county road that apparently runs directly through a military training corridor.
The foreman, a man named Dale who has clearly seen some things, said the booms had been steady since Tuesday. "We figured it was quarry work," he told reporters. "Then a chunk of dirt hit Kevin in the hard hat." The Army has since confirmed that yes, that area is technically an impact zone, and yes, there probably should have been some signage.
A spokesperson described the oversight as "an administrative hiccup" which is military-speak for "we absolutely could have killed these guys." Kevin, for his part, is fine.
He's now the proud owner of a dented piece of safety equipment that he plans to frame, because nothing says "I survived the government" like a souvenir with shrapnel energy.
The county says it's reviewing its permit process.
The crew says they're reviewing their career choices.
Dale says he's just glad it wasn't the guy operating the steamroller, because "that thing doesn't turn fast." What makes this story truly American is that everyone involved just sort of shrugged and kept working.
Somewhere, a bureaucrat filed a form. **Our take:** Getting paid by the hour to dodge artillery is technically a job, but it's also a strong argument for reading the fine print on literally everything.
Final Thoughts
If your workplace ever starts sounding like a war zone, maybe verify that it isn't one.