OKLAHOMA CITY — A routine Tuesday at the Cedar Ridge Golf Course turned into absolute CHAOS this week when a 34-year-old man decided he was going to wrangle a ten-foot alligator with nothing but a cooler lid and unshakable confidence.
Witnesses say Dustin Ray Coleman of Tulsa had been drinking since noon when he spotted the gator sunbathing near the 14th hole.
According to one golfer who filmed the entire disaster, Coleman reportedly shouted, "I've seen every Steve Irwin episode twice, I got this," before sprinting toward the reptile like a man possessed.
It took approximately four seconds for the situation to go catastrophically wrong.
The video, which has now racked up over 2.3 MILLION views, shows Coleman attempting what he apparently believed was a textbook crocodile catch.
Instead, the gator whipped its tail and sent him flying into a sand trap.
A retired dentist lost his ball AND his mind.
Paramedics treated Coleman for a dislocated shoulder, a broken finger, and what doctors are calling "significant bite marks on his left buttock." He was cited for harassing wildlife and public intoxication.
The alligator, meanwhile, was relocated by Florida wildlife officials — wait, no, Oklahoma wildlife officials — and is reportedly "doing great, all things considered." Here's the thing that nobody seems to want to say out loud: Steve Irwin was a trained professional with decades of experience, a team of experts, and a genuine respect for animals.
He didn't learn his craft from watching highlight reels between beers.
He dedicated his LIFE to conservation and education.
Some guy with a cooler lid on a golf course is not Steve Irwin.
He's just a cautionary tale with a GoFundMe page.
Coleman's brother told reporters, "Dustin's always been a daredevil.
He once tried to pet a bison in Yellowstone." That tracks.
The golf course is now considering installing warning signs.
Because apparently "don't touch the alligator" needed to be said out loud. **Our Take:** Admiring Steve Irwin is admirable.
Thinking you ARE Steve Irwin after three margaritas is how you end up in the ER with a gator bite on your rear.
Final Thoughts
The only thing Coleman caught was a citation and a lifelong story he'll never live down.