A humpback whale off the coast of Massachusetts has been photographed repeatedly slapping a smaller boat with its tail, and marine biologists are split on whether it's aggression, curiosity, or just an animal that woke up and chose chaos.
The whale, unofficially nicknamed "Karen" by the whale-watching crew that first spotted her, has been hanging around the same stretch of water near Cape Cod for nearly two weeks.
According to the crew, she's not hunting, not migrating, and not doing anything a humpback is technically supposed to do in late spring.
Ellen Marsh, a marine mammal researcher who has been tracking the animal, told reporters the behavior is unusual but not unheard of. "Humpbacks are intelligent, curious, and frankly a little unhinged," she said. "This one seems to have decided that a specific 32-foot recreational vessel is her nemesis.
Neither does the boat owner." The boat owner, a retired dentist from New Jersey named Gary, has reportedly tried moving his vessel three times.
On the third attempt, Gary says the whale surfaced directly behind him and let out a sound he described as "a foghorn with an attitude." Locals have turned the whole thing into a spectator sport.
A nearby seafood shack is now selling "Team Whale" t-shirts, and a Facebook group dedicated to tracking the whale's movements has ballooned to over 40,000 members in a week.
Others are calling her a menace to maritime commerce.
Federal wildlife officials have reminded the public that harassing a humpback whale is a federal crime, which is awkward, because the whale appears to be the one doing the harassing. "We are aware of the situation," a NOAA spokesperson said in a statement that somehow managed to sound exhausted. "We ask that boaters maintain a safe distance and refrain from escalating things." Gary, for his part, has not commented beyond a brief text to a local reporter that read: "I just wanted to go fishing." Same, Gary.
The whale is expected to move on when the local krill supply runs low or when she gets bored, whichever comes first.
Until then, the internet has already crowned her the unofficial mascot of petty grievances everywhere.
Final Thoughts
Honestly, in a world where billionaires are launching themselves into space and Congress can't agree on lunch, there's something deeply satisfying about a 40-ton mammal deciding one specific guy in a boat is her problem.