Another week, another action thriller where a grizzled man with a very particular set of skills has to rescue a loved one from European criminals who apparently never watched the last nine movies.
This time our hero is trapped on a transatlantic flight with a bomb, a traitor, and roughly eighteen henchmen who all decided to wear matching black tactical vests like it's a company retreat.
The opening scene where the wife gets kidnapped in a rain-soaked alley?
The part where the phone rings and the villain whispers something ominous in a British accent?
Hollywood knows exactly what it's doing and we keep handing them our $16 like a bunch of suckers at a carnival game.
The plot holds together about as well as a paper umbrella in a hurricane.
Our guy boards a plane with zero carry-on luggage, yet somehow produces a satellite phone, a garrote, and a full set of lockpicks from his blazer.
She gets exactly four lines before taking a bullet so we can feel something.
RIP, random lady whose name we never learned.
The villain gives a monologue about the world being corrupt while standing in front of a floor-to-ceiling window in an abandoned building.
Because that's where all evil billionaires hang out, apparently.
He's got a henchman who could've ended the movie in act one but instead slowly walks toward our hero while firing wildly and missing every shot.
He's carrying the entire third act on his poorly trained shoulders.
Our hero jumps from a moving train onto a helicopter, lands in a river, and then has a full fistfight with a guy twice his size while soaking wet.
Meanwhile I threw my back out last Tuesday reaching for the remote.
The movie expects us to believe this man is 58 years old and also made of titanium.
I've made worse decisions for less entertainment.
Because after a long day of doomscrolling and pretending to care about quarterly reports, sometimes you just want to watch a man punch a stranger through a glass door and then walk away without flinching.
It's not cinema, it's therapy with explosions.
The real question isn't whether the movie is good.
It's why we keep showing up for the same story with a different airport.
Maybe we're all just hoping that one day, if things go sideways, some quiet guy in a dad jacket will stand up and handle it.
Someone who actually knows what they're doing in a crisis.
The Rotten Tomatoes score is a war crime.
And I will be seated with popcorn and zero regrets, because sometimes you need to watch a man defeat an entire criminal syndicate before the caffeine wears off. **The Verdict:** These movies are objectively ridiculous and I will defend them with my life.
Final Thoughts
Hollywood found a formula and it prints money, so blame us, not them.