Eliana Moreno, a 24-year-old "business coach" and LinkedIn thought-leader, has officially achieved the internet's highest honor: getting ratioed into oblivion and then unceremoniously fired from her own company. In a since-deleted post that has been screenshotted approximately 400,000 times, Moreno bragged about terminating "99% of her staff" because they "weren't obsessed enough with the vision." The vision, as far as anyone can tell, was making TikTok videos about hustle culture while her employees did actual work.
The post, which read like a LinkedIn fever dream written by a ChatGPT prompt titled "make me sound like a CEO who yells at waiters," explained that she had "cleaned house" to build a "lean, mean, hyper-committed team of one." That one, presumably, was her. Within 48 hours, her remaining clients had evaporated, her website was down, and her investors—yes, someone actually gave this person money—had invoked a clause so obscure it was probably written in Latin.
Reddit, as you might expect, had a field day. r/antiwork users dissected her post like it was the Zapruder film. "She fired 99% of her staff, which means she had, at minimum, 100 employees, which means she was running a company with the overhead of a small regional airport and the revenue of a lemonade stand," one commenter calculated. Another noted, "The only thing she's coaching now is her LinkedIn profile, which is basically a digital tombstone that says 'I did this to myself.'"
But the real comedy came from Moreno's follow-up. In a tearful TikTok posted from what appeared to be her parents' guest room—you know, the one with the motivational poster that says "Dream Big"—she explained that she was "actually grateful" for the experience and that "haters are just confused fans." She then promoted a new course called "Resilience in the Face of Cancellation," priced at $497. The course has zero enrollees. Her engagement, however, is through the roof.
Corporate America, never one to miss a trend, has already started using her as a case study. A leaked memo from a mid-sized consulting firm reportedly references "the Moreno Principle," which states that any executive who publicly brags about firing people will be fired by people who are not them. Harvard Business Review has not commented, but they're probably mad they didn't think of it first.
The deeper tragedy here isn't that Moreno lost her company. It's that she genuinely believed the algorithm would reward her for being cruel. She thought the same energy that gets you likes on a thirst trap would translate to boardroom respect. It didn't. The internet is a fickle beast, and it turns out that "girlboss who fires everyone" is only a vibe until it's a reality. Then it's just a layoff with better lighting.
Her former employees, meanwhile, have reportedly started a group chat called "The 99%," where they share job leads and memes about their former boss. One of them is now a director at a Fortune 500 company. Another is in med school. Moreno, last we checked, was posting a video about how "the universe removes people who aren't aligned with your purpose." The universe, it seems, also removes people who fire everyone and then post about it.
So here's the takeaway, kids: you can be a visionary or you can be a cautionary tale. Eliana Moreno chose both, and the internet chose violence. She'll be fine—probably pivoting to real estate or crypto any day now—but her LinkedIn post will live forever, a monument to the idea that you can't hustle your way out of being the villain in your own story.
**The only thing Moreno successfully scaled was her own irrelevance. Somewhere, a business school professor is using her as a final exam question, and every student is getting it right.**