Well, folks, the College Board has done it again. In a move that screams "we definitely listen to feedback, please don't sue us," the organization behind the SAT announced this week that the test will be getting a major overhaul starting in 2024. It's going digital, it's getting shorter, and apparently, it's going to be "easier." Sure. And I'm the Queen of England.
Here's the rundown: the test will shrink from about three hours to roughly two. The reading passages will be shorter. Calculators will be allowed on the entire math section. And students will take it on a computer at a testing center or, get this, at home. Because nothing says "fair and equitable" quite like a high-stakes exam taken in your childhood bedroom while your mom yells at your brother about the dishes.
The College Board claims this is all about reducing stress and increasing accessibility. Which is hilarious, because the SAT has been a stress factory since roughly the dawn of time. It's a test that has historically favored kids who can afford $200-an-hour tutors and $5,000 prep courses. So excuse me if I'm a little skeptical that making it shorter and digital is suddenly going to level the playing field.
Oh, and the reading section will now be "adaptive." Translation: if you do well on the first half, the second half gets harder. Do poorly, and it gets easier. Which sounds great until you realize that a kid who bombs the first section might get an easier second section and still end up with a decent score, while a kid who aces the first section gets thrown into the deep end and might flounder. It's like the Hunger Games, but with more No. 2 pencils and existential dread.
The College Board is also making the test available in more locations and offering a "digital-first" experience. Because nothing says "we care about students" like forcing them to stare at a screen for two hours while their eyes bleed and their brains turn to mush. And let's not forget the at-home option, where students can take the test in their pajamas while their dog barks at the mailman. Sounds super secure.
Look, I get it. The SAT has been on the decline for years. More and more colleges are going test-optional, and the pandemic only accelerated that trend. The College Board is scrambling to stay relevant, like a middle-aged dad trying to learn TikTok dances. But making the test shorter and digital isn't going to fix the fundamental problem: the SAT is a flawed metric that measures privilege more than potential.
So congratulations, College Board. You've managed to make a stressful, inequitable test slightly less stressful and slightly more digital. That's like putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound and calling it a day. But hey, at least the kids will get out of the testing center two hours earlier. Silver linings, am I right?
In the end, this is just another chapter in the never-ending saga of American education: a bunch of adults in a boardroom making decisions about kids' futures based on what looks good on a press release. The SAT might be shorter, but the anxiety, the inequality, and the sheer absurdity of it all? That's still three hours long, minimum.