Tesla Bro Dads Are Getting Absolutely Roasted For Cruising Around With Their Trunks Open To Fake A Longer Cybertruck
There’s a special kind of stupid that only a $100,000 pickup truck can unlock, and apparently, it’s spreading faster than a California wildfire during a Santa Ana wind event. I’m talking, of course, about the latest trend to sweep the nation’s most fragile egos: the “Ghost Trunk.”
Yes, you read that correctly. We’ve officially hit peak automotive cringe. While the rest of us are out here trying to figure out if we can afford a used Honda Civic with 180,000 miles on it, a very specific demographic of dipshits are driving around in their brand-new Cybertrucks with the rear trunk lid—or whatever the hell you call that weird trapezoidal hatch—wide open. Not because they’re hauling a 12-foot ladder. Not because they’re transporting a sectional from IKEA. No, they’re doing it because they think it makes their stupid-looking truck look longer.
Let me break this down for the uninitiated. The Cybertruck, for all its “DeLorean from Wish.com” aesthetics, is actually a miserably short vehicle for a truck. It’s about the same length as a Ford Maverick, which is a truck for people who think “mowing the lawn” is a personality. In a world where dudes measure their worth by the size of their truck’s bed, this is a cardinal sin. You can’t roll up to the Cars & Coffee meet looking like you drive a glorified golf cart. So, these geniuses have figured out a hack: just drive with the trunk open. It adds a solid two feet of visual length, making the truck look like it could actually haul something other than groceries and existential dread.
The result is a spectacle that looks less like a functional vehicle and more like a mechanical pelican with a broken beak. Or, as one astute observer on r/CyberStuck put it, “It looks like it’s perpetually trying to swallow a surfboard.” The videos are glorious. You’ve got dudes in Oakley sunglasses and backwards hats, cruising down the 405 at 75 mph, with their rear hatch flapping in the wind like a cheap flag at a used car lot. The aerodynamic drag is probably killing their already pathetic range, but hey, at least they look like they have a big truck, right?
The internet, as it always does, has responded with the appropriate level of nuclear-grade mockery. We’re not talking gentle ribbing here; we’re talking full-blown, Reddit-thread, call-your-mother-and-tell-her-you're-embarrassed levels of roasting. One viral clip shows a Cybertruck owner trying to back into a parking spot with his trunk open, only to have a Prius driver honk and yell, “Hey, your door is open!” The Cybertruck owner, with the confidence of a man who's never been told 'no' in his life, just flipped them off and kept going. It’s beautiful, chaotic, and encapsulates everything wrong with the EV bro culture in one 30-second clip.
But let's be real. Is this really surprising? This is the same demographic that bought a truck with a stainless steel body that gets permanently stained by bird shit. The same guys who paid $20,000 over MSRP for a vehicle that looks like it was designed by a 12-year-old playing Minecraft. Of course they’re going to fake having a longer bed. It’s not about utility; it’s about the aesthetic of utility. It’s about pulling up to the country club and looking like you could tow a house, even though you’ve never so much as hauled a bag of mulch.
The best part? Tesla CEO Elon Musk hasn't said a word about it. He's probably too busy tweeting about the fall of civilization or whatever the hell he does on his lunch break. But you know he’s seen the memes. You know he's sitting in his Austin compound, looking at a render of a Cybertruck with a 12-foot bed, thinking, “Should I just make the whole truck longer? That’ll show them.” And honestly, I wouldn't put it past him. The man has no concept of irony.
Meanwhile, the rest of us are just sitting here, sipping our iced coffees, and watching this car crash in slow motion. It’s not just a bad look; it’s a safety hazard. You’ve got a two-ton piece of stainless steel with a giant gaping hole in the back, and if you rear-end someone, that hatch is going to fold like a lawn chair. But common sense has never been a strong suit for the Cybertruck crowd. They’re too busy trying to convince us—and themselves—that their $100K paperweight is actually a legit workhorse.
And the excuses are just as pathetic as the mod itself. I saw one guy in a forum defend it by claiming he was “airing out the interior” after a particularly foul Taco Bell run. Another said it was for “better airflow” to cool down the battery, which is absolute bullshit because the battery is under the floor, not in the trunk. One guy even claimed it was a deliberate design feature, comparing it to a pickup truck’s tailgate being left down. Sir, a tailgate is flat when it’s down. Your trunk hatch is pointing up at a 45-degree angle like a dog’s leg taking a piss. There is no comparison.
This whole saga is a masterclass in performative masculinity. It’s not about what the vehicle can do; it’s about what it looks like it can do. And in the world of EVs, where range anxiety is the ultimate emasculator, having a longer truck is the last bastion of traditional truck-bro dominance. They can’t brag about their V8 rumble, because their car sounds like a golf cart on meth. They can’t brag about their towing capacity, because towing a trailer kills their range by 50%.
Final Thoughts
Let’s be brutally honest: the electric vehicle revolution isn’t a technological gamble anymore—it’s a logistical and psychological one. We’ve mastered the battery chemistry and the instant torque, but the industry’s real test is whether it can build a charging ecosystem as reliable as the gas station, or if the "range anxiety" narrative will stubbornly outlive the actual specs. The winners won’t be the brands with the flashiest screens, but the ones who finally make plugging in as thoughtless as filling up.