Empire State Building Climber Says He Did It Because 'The Stairs Were Right There' (and Also For the Clout, Obviously)
**New York, NY** – In a stunning display of either breathtaking stupidity or a truly unhinged commitment to cardio, a man identified as 24-year-old marketing intern Chad Thundercock (allegedly) decided to treat the Empire State Building like a particularly vertical jungle gym on Tuesday morning. And before you ask: yes, he filmed the whole thing. No, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Yes, he did it for the ‘gram.
According to NYPD sources who are probably still trying to scrub the secondhand embarrassment from their souls, the suspect, whose legal name is apparently Bartholomew “Tank” Jenkins, bypassed security by simply walking through a service door with the confidence of a man who has never been told “no” in his life. Once inside, he began his ascent up the exterior of the iconic Art Deco skyscraper, using window-washing rigs and, I cannot stress this enough, the sheer audacity of a raccoon that’s figured out how to open a trash can.
“He just… went up,” said a flummoxed security guard, who wished to remain anonymous because he’s probably already getting written up for the “gap in security.” “I saw him, I yelled ‘Hey!’, and he yelled back ‘No refunds!’ and kept climbing. I’m not paid enough to fight a man who’s clearly running on pure ego and pre-workout.”
The climb, which took approximately 45 minutes, was streamed live on Twitch to a peak audience of – and this is the real tragedy here – 12 people. The video, which has since been scrubbed from the platform but lives on in the annals of internet infamy, shows Tank narrating his journey with the philosophical depth of a fortune cookie.
“Bro, this is, like, so metaphorical for the grindset,” he said, panting, while dangling 800 feet above 34th Street. “You gotta just… keep climbing. Even when the wind is trying to snatch your soul. Especially then. That’s when you post the update. Hustle culture, baby.”
He even took a break at the 86th-floor observation deck to take a selfie with a horrified tourist from Ohio. The tourist, a woman named Carol, can be heard in the background of the stream saying, “Is that legal? Is that a bird? Oh god, it’s a man. Harold, call 911! And get the camera, he’s got abs.”
Tank was eventually apprehended by a police helicopter and an elite tactical unit that rappelled down from the roof, looking like they were about to neutralize a terrorist, only to find a man in Lululemon shorts asking if they had any “coconut water, because that dry New York air is brutal, ya know?”
When asked by authorities why he did it, Tank reportedly looked them dead in the eye with the hollow, self-aware emptiness of a generation raised on influencer culture and replied, “Because the stairs were right there, man. And also… I wanted to see if I could. You know? FOMO, but for… gravity?”
The internet, predictably, had a field day. Reddit’s r/Whatcouldgowrong immediately crowned him “The Patron Saint of Main Character Syndrome.” Twitter/X users were less kind, with one viral tweet reading: “Empire State Building climber says he did it for ‘the journey.’ The journey is a felony. And a $10,000 fine. And the absolute certainty that your next ‘grindset’ video will be filmed from a jail cell.”
AITA threads are still debating whether the climber is an “epic legend” or a “massive, gaping asshole who wasted police resources for a Twitch stream that will get him banned from every job he ever applies for.” The verdict, as of press time, is overwhelmingly YTA (You’re The Asshole). One commenter summed it up perfectly: “YTA. Not just for the climb, but for doing it in Nike Metcons. Those are for CrossFit, you absolute monster. Have some respect for the architecture.”
The NYPD has charged Tank with reckless endangerment, trespassing, and, unofficially, “being a colossal moron in a city that is already too full of them.” He is being held on $50,000 bail, which his GoFundMe – titled “Free King Tank: He Just Wanted to See the View” – has already raised 80% of. Humanity is doomed.
Meanwhile, the Empire State Building has issued a statement saying they are “reviewing security protocols” and that while they “respect the spirit of adventure,” they “strongly advise against using the building’s facade as a bouldering wall.” They also noted that the official observation deck exists for a reason, and that reason is to separate tourists from their $44 for a view that is, let’s be honest, just a bunch of gray rectangles.
But the real question nobody is asking is this: what’s next? Are we going to see a wave of copycat climbers? Will the next guy try to free-solo the One World Trade Center while eating a Hot Pocket? Is there a TikTok trend called “Skyscraper Skidaddle” that I’m too old to understand?
Yes. The answer is yes to all of the above. Because we live in a society where the line between “legend” and “liability” has been blurred into a fine paste, and that paste is being sold as a limited-edition NFT.
Tank’s mother, reached for comment, said she was “disappointed but not surprised.” His father reportedly said, “Well, at least he’s not doing drugs. He’s just… climbing them.”
We’ll be right back after this commercial break to discuss how this man’s criminal record will absolutely be used against him when he tries to rent an apartment in this city, where the application process already requires a blood sample, three years of tax returns, and a letter of recommendation from your landlord’
Final Thoughts
Having covered stunts and crises for decades, I’ve learned that the Empire State Building is less a building than a mirror: it reflects the audacity of those who climb it, but also the desperation that often drives them. While the sheer nerve of these climbers commands a certain grudging respect, the tragic reality is that these ascents are rarely about glory—they are a raw, public scream for attention or a final, reckless act of defiance. Ultimately, the structure’s enduring allure isn't its height, but its role as a stage for the human condition in all its thrilling and heartbreaking extremes.