# Local Man Files Restraining Order Against Ghost He Claims Is ‘Gaslighting Him Into Thinking He’s Crazy’
**SALEM, MA** — In what local authorities are calling a “first for literally everyone involved,” 34-year-old software developer Brian Tarkington has filed a formal restraining order against an alleged spectral entity he claims has been haunting his two-bedroom apartment for the past six months, gaslighting him into questioning his own sanity, and repeatedly “edging” him out of sleep at exactly 3:17 AM.
“I’ve had it up to here with this poltergeist’s manipulative bullshit,” Tarkington told reporters outside the Essex County Courthouse, where he attempted to serve the ghost with papers. “First it was just the usual stuff—knocking pictures off the wall, turning the thermostat down to 58 degrees at night, classic rookie haunting. But then it started getting personal. It would wait until I was literally about to fall asleep, then whisper ‘remember that thing you said in 8th grade?’ and I’d be up for another two hours cringing.”
According to the 47-page restraining order filing—which a judge has reportedly described as “the most unhinged document I’ve seen since my ex-wife’s divorce lawyer got involved”—the ghost, which Tarkington has dubbed “Steve,” has been systematically dismantling his self-esteem through a series of increasingly targeted psychological attacks.
“Your honor, the respondent has been engaging in a pattern of emotional abuse that would make a narcissistic ex-boyfriend blush,” the filing reads. “On October 14th, I came home from work to find all my furniture rearranged to face the wall. On the wall, written in what appeared to be my own handwriting, were the words ‘You peaked in high school and your mom is only proud of you because your sister is a stripper.’ This is not a prank. This is domestic terrorism.”
Tarkington claims the haunting began shortly after he moved into the apartment, which was previously owned by a 92-year-old woman who died in the bathtub under what neighbors described as “totally normal, non-suspicious circumstances for someone that old.” But instead of your run-of-the-mill ghost who just wants to flicker lights and moan about the Civil War, Tarkington alleges he got stuck with a spirit that has the emotional maturity of a chronically online Reddit moderator.
“Last week, I swear to God, I heard it whisper ‘skill issue’ after I tripped over my cat,” Tarkington said, visibly shaking. “I’ve been in therapy for three years working on my self-worth, and this undead asshole is out here undoing all of it. I found my keys in the freezer next to a Post-it note that said ‘You’re not as funny as you think you are.’ I can’t even get gaslit by a ghost in peace anymore.”
Psychologist Dr. Linda Morrison, who has not examined Tarkington but has apparently made up her mind anyway, says this case raises fascinating questions about the intersection of paranormal activity and modern relationship dynamics.
“What we’re seeing here is a classic case of a haunting that has evolved beyond simple scare tactics into full-blown emotional manipulation,” Dr. Morrison explained while barely concealing her amusement. “This ghost has clearly done its research. It knows exactly which buttons to push. The fact that it waited until Brian was vulnerable at 3 AM to bring up his failed Etsy business? That’s tactical. That’s a ghost who has read ‘The Art of War’ and several Reddit relationship threads.”
Local paranormal investigator group “Spooky Boys LLC” has offered to perform an exorcism, but Tarkington declined, claiming the ghost has “already won the first three rounds” and he’s “not giving it the satisfaction.”
“I’m not having some priest come in here and tell me I need to ‘let go of my attachments,’” Tarkington said. “I saw ‘The Exorcist.’ That kid got a free pass because she was possessed. I’m getting full-on psychological warfare from a ghost who has the energy of a guy who leaves Yelp reviews about parking lots. Last night I found a note on my pillow that said ‘Your Spotify Wrapped is embarrassing.’ It’s RIGHT. My Wrapped IS embarrassing. That’s not the point!”
The ghost, who could not be reached for comment due to being a ghost, is believed to be residing somewhere in the apartment’s HVAC system, where it has reportedly been banging pipes and occasionally humming the theme song to “Curb Your Enthusiasm” whenever Tarkington has guests over.
Neighbors have expressed mixed feelings about the situation.
“I don’t know, man, I’ve lived here fifteen years and never had any problems,” said upstairs neighbor Marcus Williams, 47. “But I also don’t have a cat named after a Sega character or a framed photo of my ex-girlfriend’s dog on my nightstand, so maybe the ghost just has standards.”
Tarkington’s legal strategy has been met with skepticism from legal experts, who note that restraining orders typically require the respondent to be a living human being with a physical address.
“This is unprecedented,” said attorney Sarah Chen, specializing in what she called “cases that make her question her career choices.” “You can’t serve papers to a non-corporeal entity. Where would the sheriff deliver them? The cemetery? The attic? We’re in uncharted legal waters here. That said, if the ghost does show up to court, I’d love to see what it wears for jury duty.”
The case has already attracted attention from several paranormal YouTube channels, at least two TikTok creators who plan to recreate the haunting for content, and one very confused judge who is reportedly considering recusing herself “before my ghost shows up and reminds me I gained fifteen pounds during the pandemic.”
As for Tarkington, he says he’s not backing down.
“I don’t care if I look like a lunatic,” he said, clutching a folder of evidence that includes photographs of unexplained cold spots and a voicemail he claims is
Final Thoughts
After decades of chasing shadows and measuring cold spots, I’ve come to see ghosts less as literal spirits and more as the residue of our own unprocessed grief—stories we can’t finish, apologies we never gave. The article rightly dissects the science of pareidolia and infrasound, but it misses the deeper truth: whether or not the dead walk among us, the living clearly need them to. In the end, a ghost is just a symptom of the human condition—a stubborn refusal to let the past stay buried, and a haunting reminder that closure is a luxury we rarely earn.