DONALD TRUMP’S SHOCKING MOUNT RUSHMORE MAKEOVER REVEALED! HE’S ADDING HIMSELF TO THE MOUNTAIN – AND IT’S CAUSING A MASSIVE MELTDOWN!
By [Your Name], National Correspondent
EXCLUSIVE: In a jaw-dropping move that has sent shockwaves through the political world, sources close to the former president have confirmed that DONALD J. TRUMP is actively planning to ADD HIS OWN FACE to the iconic Mount Rushmore monument!
That’s right, folks! The same mountain that immortalizes George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln is about to get a FIFTH, BOLD, GOLDEN-HAIRED addition – and it’s not just a rumor! This isn’t some late-night comedy sketch or a fever dream. This is REAL.
According to a highly-placed insider who spoke exclusively with this reporter, the 45th president has been in “secret, high-level talks” with a team of world-renowned sculptors and billionaire donors to carve his likeness into the granite face of the Black Hills of South Dakota. And he’s not just asking for a little cameo in the background. No, no, no! Trump wants his face to be the LARGEST and MOST PROMINENT of them all!
“He’s obsessed,” the insider revealed, speaking on condition of anonymity for fear of reprisal. “He’s been looking at old photos of the monument for months, circling areas where a new face could go. He wants his face to be looking STRAIGHT AHEAD, with that signature smirk, and maybe even a little bit of a tan. He said the other presidents look too ‘old and dusty.’ He wants to bring ‘ENERGY’ to the mountain.”
The plan, which has been code-named “OPERATION GOLDEN PEAK,” is reportedly being financed by a group of ultra-wealthy MAGA donors who have pledged a staggering $500 MILLION to get the job done. The money, they claim, will go toward “modernizing” the monument, adding a 24-karat gold leaf outline to Trump’s hair, and installing a state-of-the-art sound system that will blast “God Bless the U.S.A.” on a 24/7 loop.
But here’s where it gets WILD. The proposed design, which your reporter has obtained a leaked sketch of, doesn’t just stop at a face. Oh no! The plan includes a “TRUMP TOWER” observation deck built directly into the mountain’s side, complete with a golden escalator and a gift shop that ONLY sells “Trump Steaks” and “MAGA Hats.”
The South Dakota Governor, Kristi Noem, a vocal Trump ally, is reportedly “on board” with the plan. Sources say she has already signed a preliminary “memorandum of understanding” that would allow the federal government to lease the land to the Trump Organization for a “symbolic” $1 a year.
“This is the greatest honor a president can receive, and there is no one more deserving,” a spokesperson for the governor said in a statement. “Mount Rushmore is about American greatness, and President Trump IS American greatness. The current lineup is great, but it’s time for an upgrade.”
But NOT SO FAST! The backlash has been IMMEDIATE and FEROCIOUS. Environmental groups, Native American tribes, and historians are FURIOUS.
The Lakota Sioux, whose sacred land the Black Hills were illegally seized from in the 19th century, are leading the charge. “This is an absolute desecration,” declared Chief Leonard Black Elk. “The mountain is a sacred site. It was already a monument to theft and colonialism. Now they want to add a monument to ego and orange spray-tan? This is a declaration of war against our people!”
Meanwhile, the National Park Service is in a state of CHAOS. Employees have reportedly been given a “gag order” and told not to speak to the press. But one ranger, speaking in a hushed whisper, told us, “It’s insane. We have no idea how they’re going to do this. The rock has already been shaped. Adding a new face would require DYNAMITE, and it could destabilize the entire mountain! This is a disaster waiting to happen.”
The legal battles are already piling up. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has filed a lawsuit, claiming the project violates the Establishment Clause by promoting a “cult of personality.” The Department of the Interior is reportedly “reviewing” the plans, but everyone knows that with Trump’s influence, the review might be about as thorough as a “presidential physical.”
And get this! The Trump team has already started a massive “GOFUNDME” campaign to “Save Mount Rushmore from the Radical Left.” The campaign promises that every donor who gives $1,000 will have their name engraved on a “Wall of Patriots” at the base of the new monument. As of this writing, the campaign has already raised over $15 million in just 24 hours.
“They want to cancel history,” a Trump spokesperson said in a fiery press conference. “But President Trump is history. He’s the greatest president since Lincoln, and he deserves to be carved into the stone of our nation’s soul. The swamp is trying to stop it, but the people are with us!”
The engineering challenges are NIGHTMARE-INDUCING. Experts say that carving a new face into a 5,725-foot-tall mountain that is already 80 years old is nearly impossible. The rock is full of fractures and has been weathered by centuries of wind and rain. Adding a new element could cause massive rockfalls, earthquakes, and even a complete collapse of the monument.
“It’s like trying to add a new wing to the Sphinx,” said Dr. Amelia Stone, a geologist at the University of Colorado. “The structural integrity is already compromised. If they start blasting, the whole thing could come tumbling down. This isn’t a makeover; it’s a demolition project disguised as a tribute.”
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Final Thoughts
It’s hard not to see the reported plans for a Trump-themed Mount Rushmore as less a tribute to presidential legacy and more a symptom of an ego that mistakes granite for immortality. In a republic that has long revered its most transformative leaders on that mountain, carving a fourth face next to Washington and Lincoln feels less like history and more like a stunt—one that would cheapen the very idea of earned honor. Ultimately, if such a monument were ever built, it would stand not as a testament to service, but as a permanent reminder that for some, no amount of power is ever enough.