Venezuela's Soccer Star Blames Earthquakes on 'The Gays,' Immediately Gets Sacked By Reality
CARACAS, Venezuela — In a move that somehow managed to be both incredibly on-brand for South American soccer and absolutely unhinged for the 21st century, a Venezuelan professional footballer has been unceremoniously dumped by his club after blaming a series of recent earthquakes on, and I cannot stress this enough, the LGBTQ+ community. Because of course he did.
Let’s set the scene. Venezuela, a country that has been through more plot twists than a telenovela on meth, is currently dealing with a spate of seismic activity. Nothing catastrophic, but enough to make the already jittery population wonder if the ground is trying to tell them something. Enter Yeferson Soteldo, a diminutive winger for Santos FC (currently on loan from Tigres UANL, because soccer contracts are incomprehensible), who decided to weigh in on the geological phenomenon with the wisdom of a guy who just finished his fourth beer at 11 AM.
“These earthquakes are a sign from God,” Soteldo reportedly posted on social media (before frantically deleting it, because the internet has the memory of a traumatized elephant). “We must repent for our sins, especially the sin of homosexuality. The earth is shaking because God is angry at the gays.”
Yep. You read that right. The man who gets paid to kick a leather ball for a living decided to moonlight as a biblical prophet, specifically the kind that gets ratioed into oblivion. He didn’t just blame the weather; he blamed the literal tectonic plates moving under an entire continent on the existence of people who are, frankly, minding their own business.
The internet, as you might imagine, did not take this well. The backlash was swift, brutal, and heavily decorated with crying-laughing emojis. Within hours, Santos FC, a club that has had its own share of PR nightmares, did something shockingly rare in the world of professional sports: they acted with actual consequence.
“Santos FC informs that player Yeferson Soteldo has been removed from the squad and will not participate in any club activities until further notice,” the club’s official statement read, translated from Portuguese. “The views expressed by the athlete do not represent the values of our institution, which is committed to inclusion and respect.”
Oof. That’s the sound of a multi-million dollar career getting a sudden, unexpected time-out.
Now, let’s be real for a second. The AITA energy here is off the charts. On one hand, Soteldo is exercising his right to free speech, even if that speech sounds like it was generated by an AI trained exclusively on Fox News comment sections from 2014. On the other hand, he’s a professional athlete representing a global brand. When you sign that contract, you’re basically agreeing to not say the quiet part out loud, especially when the quiet part involves blaming natural disasters on a marginalized group.
This isn’t just a bad take; it’s a historically bad take. It’s the kind of take that makes you wonder if he’s been getting his geology lessons from the Book of Leviticus and his news from a fax machine that only receives messages from 1985.
Let’s break down the logic here, or lack thereof. Earthquakes are caused by the movement of tectonic plates. The Earth’s crust is divided into several large slabs that float on the semi-molten mantle. When these plates grind against each other, get stuck, and then suddenly release, you get seismic waves. This process has been happening for billions of years, long before the first same-sex couple held hands, long before the first Pride parade, and yes, long before anyone even thought about being gay. In fact, the same tectonic forces that cause earthquakes are the same ones that created the mountains, the continents, and the oil that Venezuela is sitting on. So according to Soteldo’s theory, God hates gays so much that he also created the primary source of Venezuela’s economic misery. It’s almost poetic in its stupidity.
But the real kicker? Venezuela is a country that has been absolutely ravaged by a humanitarian crisis. People are fleeing in droves. The economy is a dumpster fire. The political situation is a nightmare. And this guy, this professional athlete who has the platform to actually talk about real issues, decides the biggest problem is... the gays. It’s the most classic deflection in the book. “Hey, look over there! It’s not the crumbling infrastructure, the hyperinflation, or the corrupt government! It’s the lesbians causing the ground to shake!”
This is the same energy as blaming your bad grades on a ghost. It’s a convenient, nonsensical scapegoat that requires zero critical thinking. And let’s be honest, the only thing shaking right now is Soteldo’s bank account and his reputation.
The response from the soccer world has been a mix of outrage and pure comedy. Fans are memeing him into oblivion. Memes of Soteldo pointing at a map of fault lines with a confused expression are circulating. Others are photoshopping him into the movie *2012*, captioned “Soteldo trying to outrun God’s wrath against the gays.” Even his own teammates are reportedly “distancing themselves” from the comments, which is code for “we are not going down with this ship.”
Santos FC’s decision to suspend him immediately is a masterclass in crisis management. They saw the dumpster fire, realized it was already burning, and chose to hose it down before the whole stadium caught fire. They didn’t issue a “we are looking into it” statement. They didn’t wait for the internet to calm down. They cut the cord. It’s the kind of decisive action that makes you think, “Huh, maybe some organizations do have their heads screwed on straight.”
But the deeper issue here is the normalization of this kind of thinking. Soteldo isn’t some random guy on a street corner. He’s a role model, whether he likes it or not. Kids look up to him.
Final Thoughts
It’s a grim irony that Venezuela, a nation already fractured by economic collapse and political turmoil, now finds its national soccer symbol—a player whose very presence on the pitch was a brief escape—shaken by the same seismic instability that has defined its modern history. While the headlines grab you with the visceral image of a player fleeing for safety, the deeper story is about a country where even moments of sporting pride cannot escape the ground literally shifting beneath their feet. For the Venezuelan people, this isn't just a freak accident; it’s a metaphor for their daily reality, where every goal scored feels like it could be instantly erased by the next tremor.